Sports

Friday, December 4th, 2009 at 11:24am

A brief look at the naked fears one anticipates before a championship game against a fearsome rival. Um, we mean Y’ALL GONNA LOSE WOOOO GO GATORS. < ---UNCONVINCING Panic disorder : People with this condition have feelings of terror that strike suddenly and repeatedly with no warning. The things we have no reason to be worried about going into this game constituting our nightmare[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, allons-y SEC

Friday, December 4th, 2009 at 10:07am

Actual Highlights Of The Civil War: That’s a bad mallard. Oregon could only defend one guy named Rodgers, and it was the right one: James Rodgers had 10 catches for 139 yards and a TD, but Quizz Rodgers (fearless quarkback) was held in check for the most part (16 carries, 64 yards, 1 TD) while Oregon seized control late. Their second half offense was mastercraft: TD, TD, FG, run out cl[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 03:51pm

Welcome to our Factor Five Five Factor Preview of Oregon State at Oregon. The Factor Five Five Factor Preview examines the Thursday Night Game, which this week takes even more epic positioning amidst the Thursday Night Specials of seasons past by being the default Pac-10 title game AND a bitter rivalry game. Oregon State pulls into Autzen Stadium, aka “The Little Box O’ Hell.&a[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, you&#039, ve been factor&#039, d, Pacific 10 Conference

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 03:51pm

Welcome to our Factor Five Five Factor Preview of Oregon State at Oregon. The Factor Five Five Factor Preview examines the Thursday Night Game, which this week takes even more epic positioning amidst the Thursday Night Specials of seasons past by being the default Pac-10 title game AND a bitter rivalry game. Oregon State pulls into Autzen Stadium, aka “The Little Box O’ Hell.&a[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, you&#039, ve been factor&#039, d, Pacific 10 Conference

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 12:01pm

EDITOR’S NOTE: It should not be news to anyone at this point that Dollar Bill Doug’s picks have been on the far side of “horrendous” this season, to the point where he recused himself from making any picks at all for the final week of the regular season. Instead, he took it upon himself to build a time machine specifically so that he could delegate that resp[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, mad wagerin&#039, gamblor

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 11:39am

Urban Meyer gets the grand, long-form treatment in SI, and it’s worth the long read since Meyer opens up so rarely and gets some quality treatment from S.L. Price. There’s plenty of rehashed or already known stuff in there, but one new bit concerns the arachnoid cyst on Meyer’s brain that flares up from time to time due to stress, gives him splitting headaches, and ma[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Southeastern Conference

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 10:50am

Last year Todd ended up singing “Higher” by Creed, a truly painful moment for music, art, beauty, and most especially Todd and anyone who listened to Todd sing it. Make a bet that Alabama will win, though, and pay the price–which Todd did like a man who lives up to his wagers. This year, in an effort to top the agony of having to sing Creed, we only have one song tha[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, Southeastern Conference, and that is tough titties for you

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 02:53am

Warning: This picture may hit you with the force of fifty megaton nuclear bomb and blow your ass out of your ass, leaving it dangling from your hindparts like a power cord. Too bad, because this is happening and there’s nothing you can do about it. (Source: The SI Vault via DW.) From the look on Bowden’s face, he thought it was a gag. Schnellenberger didn’t. You can[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 07:09pm

This is from Dienhart yesterday, but before it vanishes over the digital horizon it should be mentioned. From “an SEC assistant” on Alabama (and Florida’s) secondaries: SECONDARY: Their weakness might be their secondary. They lost some guys who were chemistry guys in the back end. Schematically, they do a lot of different things. They do some things I couldn&#821[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, Southeastern Conference, allons-y SEC

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 04:34pm

–Georgia did precisely what their fanbase demanded of them, firing _efensive coordinator Willie Martinez, _efensive co-coor_inator and linebacker coach John Jancek, and _efensive en_s coach Jon Fabris in a gutting of their defensive staff. Richt just fired the man who was the best man at his wedding… T.E. Lawrence: I killed two people. One was… yesterday? He was just [...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, coaching coup

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 01:09pm

To absolutely everyone’s utter shock, further Mark-Mangino-is-a-crazypants-tyrant details are emerging, and this time there’s a name attached: Former starting nose tackle Cory Kipp is alleging he suffered second-degree burns while being punished for missing a weigh-in: Kipp, a defensive lineman under Mangino in 2002 and ’03, told the Journal-World this week that he endure[...]

Tags: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, walk it off it&#039, s only hemorrhaging, conspiracies

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 11:44am

I would like to apologize for my remarks yesterday regarding Georgia fans yesterday. They follow below not as repetition of the mistaken sentiments contained within, but to illustrate just how wrong I was. “I understand rival games. I understand in-state games,” said Johnson, 19-6 in two years as Tech’s coach. “We’re not going anywhere. We&#82[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Southeastern Conference, Atlantic Coast Conference, BEEEEEES, Mike Bobo Thinks This Is Bullshit

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 09:50am

BLAOW. One minute and eight seconds into the video, Reidel Anthony pulls out an imaginary shotgun and begins gunning Alabama defenders down. Ahh, pre-unsportsmanlike penalty football. We hardly knew your glory. The 24-23 Florida victory in the 1994 SEC Championship Game was also notable for the called fake injury to Danny Wuerffel, where he limped to the sideline convincingly enough, gave way to[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 03:37pm

This EDSBS Live Announcement includes a few random notes of great import we can’t really squeeze in anywhere else. Also, we’re making a theme cassoulet in honor of the Ducks playing the Beavers, and have to pick up some confit duck legs in a few minutes. In case you’re wondering what the Beavers half of the meal is, well…we haven’t figured out a cl[...]

Tags: Uncategorized, College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 02:51pm

Jason Brueck and company put this together, and we only hope it represents everything that really will happen in the SEC Championship game. No, not metaphorically, though something equivalent to a screaming Nick Saban being blasted out at a window by an RPG aimed at his chest would suffice for our purposes–we mean literally, as in some unseen kink of SEC rules requiring the game to be de[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, Southeastern Conference

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 01:08pm

I. You can leave. It’s possible at any instant. Leaving is about the timing: the act itself is neutral, and harmless. It is the timing. Leave a baby at college and you will be charged with negligence. Leave him or her there 18 years later, and you are doing your job. Step out of a plane at the right moment and you are doing what millions of people every day. Do it at the wrong moment, a[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Atlantic Coast Conference

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 10:35am

It’s really much funnier if you put this on in the background while it’s playing. Freek is a genius, Carlos Dunlap is a dumbass of epic proportions, and we can’t remember if this is the same shirt we wore yesterday, and are strangely untroubled by this. So, no: nothing in the universe has changed.

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, Southeastern Conference, freekery, drankin&#039

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 09:38am

No, officer. I am home. Unless Carlos Dunlap lives in the middle of the street in his car–and even in Florida this doesn’t qualify as a domicile–he’s been arrested for DUI. Dunlap should be in a hearing by satellite with an Alachua County judge right now, and was still in jail as of this morning. In case you’re wondering whether this was &#8220[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies

Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 09:16pm

What are these conflicted feelings? What if you woke up one day, the sun rose, and you were certain the devil was gone? And that, for an instant, you felt sorry for him as he handed in his pitchfork, his flesh-ripping tongs, his company badge, and his hoof guards and walked every so gingerly through the brimstone to the elevator as his minions watched? Even if the devil had been slacking it pretty[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, coaching coup, Atlantic Coast Conference, God doesn&#039, t care about football but he still hates Florida State

Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 05:15pm

Since an announcement is due tomorrow concerning his future, we consulted a few randoms for their opinions on the Bowden situation. “I think he gets to retire whenever he’s ready. He’s earned it. He built that program. I don’t think anyone wants to see him go. Especially me.” “Haters to the left, old man. Stay shinin’, and [...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, coaching coup, Atlantic Coast Conference, God doesn&#039, t care about football but he still hates Florida State

Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 02:58pm

The Alphabetical is up at SBNation, including the verdict on whether you’ll miss this year’s crop of supremely unmissable and unlovable coaches: NEIN. Also, in rapidly developing news shocking no one, Charlie Weis is out at at Notre Dame, beginning the hiring piracy season in earnest, and accelerating any and all Bob Stoops rumors in earnest. Joe Schad said it, and when you s[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, Notre Dame

Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 01:47pm

While we wait for the Alphabetical to digest, let us focus on one key sad moment from Saturday: the final game of Todd Reesing’s career, the charismatic leader from the heartland who could discuss the critical evaluation of Russia’s deep problems with crumbling infrastructure and a low savings rate in one breath while asking you if you’d like to help him drink box win[...]

Tags: College Football, Big 12 Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies

Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 10:14am

That car wasn’t driving itself, ATLiens who saw the Ramblin’ Wreck tooling around North Avenue without a driver. You just didn’t believe enough to see the spirit of UGA VII taking it for a spin. And into a tree. Because dogs can’t drive or understand traffic laws, and even if they could you know UGA’d drive on the left side of the road because he&a[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, Southeastern Conference, Atlantic Coast Conference, Butt supplying duties were assigned to Georgia Tech

Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 09:21am

Joe Adams cannot be killed. He first noticed when he burned himself on the stove, then was hit by a car without any ill effects. Then he began to suspect he had supernatural powers. He began to place himself in the line of danger without concern for his well-being: stepping into traffic, falling off buildings, swallowing glass to see if it would harm him. None of it did, not even when he gave him[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies

Sunday, November 29th, 2009 at 12:51am

What do you have to look forward to for the next week leading up to the SEC Championship Game? Sure, your easy answer is “only more nauseating panegyrical bloviation about Tim Tebow and his unassailable character and nebulously defined good acts.” Accepted, but you neglect to consider the other form of digital torture this week: ALABAMA FANS TELLIN YOU WHATFOR THROUGH THE POKE[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, Southeastern Conference, blatant homerism

Friday, November 27th, 2009 at 11:05am

Dollar Bill Doug put down the turkey leg and vodka long enough to file this week’s edition of his picks. Enjoy, provided you’re not too busy kidney-punching an old woman in a Target for a slightly discounted Rock Band: Roxette Special Edition.. It’s a relevant image, we swear. RISK LEVEL 1: Having that extra scoop of mashed potatoes even though you’re alr[...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Blog Buddies, mad wagerin&#039, gamblor

Thursday, November 26th, 2009 at 11:58am

They gather under the already ominously warm glow of a Florida dawn. GOODMAN TEBOW appoaches with GOODMAN URBAN in full Pilgrim gear. CHIEF BOW-DEN and his assistant JIM-BO await them. GOODMAN URBAN: I bring you greetings and the gift of blankets, Chief Bow-den. JIM-BO: I’ll take those. My kids will love them. We thank you for the gift, and reciprocate with the gift of a turkey. GOODMAN [...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Southeastern Conference, Atlantic Coast Conference, blatant homerism, God doesn&#039, t care about football but he still hates Florida State

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009 at 05:04pm

PETA really is onto something here: a robotic mascot prevents so many of the issues confronting universities who use live mascots while providing opportunities live mascots can never offer. For instance: Beer tap. Handy in all seasons, and retractable for encounters with the churchy types. Never dies. Only requires the occasional servicing, parts exchange, and lube job. Just like Mike Patrick. [...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Southeastern Conference, &quot, Georgia is supplying the butt&quot, mascot fight, meet wound

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009 at 05:04pm

PETA really is onto something here: a robotic mascot prevents so many of the issues confronting universities who use live mascots while providing opportunities live mascots can never offer. For instance: Beer tap. Handy in all seasons, and retractable for encounters with the churchy types. Never dies. Only requires the occasional servicing, parts exchange, and lube job. Just like Mike Patrick. [...]

Tags: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, media whoring, Southeastern Conference, &quot, Georgia is supplying the butt&quot, mascot fight, meet wound

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009 at 05:04pm

PETA really is onto something here: a robotic mascot prevents so many of the issues confronting universities who use live mascots while providing opportunities live mascots can never offer. For instance: Beer tap. Handy in all seasons, and retractable for encounters with the churchy types. Never dies. Only requires the occasional servicing, parts exchange, and lube job. Just like Mike Patrick. [...]

Tags: College Football, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, Southeastern Conference, &quot, Georgia is supplying the butt&quot, mascot fight, meet wound